Two Things the Churchs Doesn’t Talk About Part II: Porn

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First things first. Sex was created by God. It was intended to be saved for your spouse. We are not animals. We can control ourselves. Please don't lump me in as “another Christian trying to make everyone feel guilty about sex.”

I was listening to a podcast and the host asked their guest, “What's your favorite type of porn?” It wasn't “Do you watch porn?” Nope. It was assumed that people do, so what's your favorite type. Another article in Men's Health asked, “Are you watching too much?” Again, this didn't even contemplate if we should; it assumes all men do and now asks how much is too much.

Not Everyone is Watching Porn

Adult Product website Adam and Eve did two surveys. One survey for their customers and one for their Facebook followers. They asked about the Erotic Viewing Habits. Here are the results:

Adam and Eve Customers

  • 33% Never Watch
  • 20% once or twice a year
  • 22% Once or twice a month
  • 16% Once or twice a week
  • 6% Daily
  • 2%  More than Once a day.

When they asked their Facebook followers they got these results:

  • 4% Never watch
  • 3% Once or twice a year
  • 3% Once or twice a month
  • 32% Once or twice a week
  • 53% Viewed Porn Daily
  • 5% More than once a day

 

If God Didn’t Want Us to Masturbate He Would've Made Our Arms Shorter

Looking back at history, the sexual revolution of the 70's didn't really bring us any lasting benefits (unless you like Venereal Diseases). The 80s brought us the wonderful world of Dr Ruth who stated over and over that Masturbation was healthy. She thinks we should be teaching our children to masturbate. The media picked it up, and we all assume that everyone is making love to themselves.

What's The Big Deal About Masturbation?

Porn and Masturbation is not What God Designed

It goes against the original purpose of sex. God invented sex to feel good for a man and a wife (and to obviously populate the planet). It is an act that focusing on pleasuring your partner and developing closeness as a couple. Masturbation is self-centered.

Porn and Masturbation Causes Issues With Men

According to an article on askmen.com, by Dr. Hernando Chaves Masturbating can sometimes create an individual orgasm effect where we train our bodies to respond to our own familiar touch and have a reduced response to other people’s touch, resulting in a tougher time reaching climax with others. A lot of guys can relate to this.

Men who masturbate may get bored doing it the same way. This may lead to males masturbation on their stomachs (called Prone) by using pillows, mattresses, etc.  Of the people who masturbate this way, 57% prefer masturbation to intercourse. They develop what is known as Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome (TMS). To summarize what is written on this subject at healthystrokes.com they not only prefer masturbation, they have difficulty having an orgasm with a woman.

Porn and Masturbation Causes Problems With Women

According to one website, More than half of 2,056 women, aged 18 to 60, used a vibrator either during masturbation or intercourse, says Debby Herbenick, PhD, MPH, associate director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University, Bloomington, who led the survey. Although some experts worry about side effects from vibrator use, such as genital numbness or pain, less than 30% of the women in Herbenick's vibrator survey said they had experienced them.

It doesn't mean you don't love your partner, maybe just that you need to think only about yourself sometimes, experts say. “The woman doesn't have to be outside her head, wondering, ‘Am I taking too long?'” Another article by Debra Herbenick stated, US women ages 18 to 60 found that 46.3% of respondents had used a vibrator during masturbation (and more than half had used a vibrator for either solo or partnered sex). While the vast majority of women who had used a vibrator reported having never experienced side effects from its use, more than a quarter had experienced side effects such as genital numbness, irritation, or cuts or tears, most of which were mild and transient

Masturbation almost always involves fantasy. Let me ask the guys, how do you think your wife is going to feel if you've been fantasizing about other women to become horny, and now you're ready for her? That does not make her feel special. That does not make her feel cherished. It makes her feel like a sperm receptacle and that's not what God wanted to sex to be.

Porn Distorts “Normal”

Porn leads to fantasies. When people watch porn they think they are watching normal people having sex. Nothing could be more normal. You have two people who are getting paid to do a job. Prices and actions have been negotiated. They are surrounded by lights, and when the director yells action they act like they are enjoying themselves.

Sin Leads to Death – Or At Least Throat Cancer

Some people think that they are “being Good” by “only” having oral sex. This again is not following God's plan. According to new research throat cancer is now linked to oral sex.

HPV-linked throat cancers, or orophyaryngeal cancer, are increasing so rapidly that by 2020 there will be 8,700 U.S. cases, with 7,400 cases in men, versus 7,700 cases of cervical cancer, the study said. Male cases alone will outnumber cervical cancer cases soon after 2020, Gillison said. The Ohio State study is based on tumor samples from several U.S. states.

In a 2007 epidemiology study published in the New England Journal of Medicine, Gillison and her colleagues found that having a high number of oral or vaginal sex partners are risk factors for HPV-associated throat cancer. The cancer may also be spread by open-mouth kissing, Gillison said in the interview.

“Nobody paid attention to oral HPV infections until 2007,” she said. “We are about 15 years behind in the research” compared with the data on cervical cancer and HPV, she said. Source

Some say Rainbow Parties are a myth (oral sex parties where girls where different shades of lip stick).  Studies show there may be some validity. According to the 1995 National Survey of Adolescent Males, released in 2000, about half of boys aged 15 to 19 had received oral sex from a girl, and slightly more than a third had performed it. A 2004 NBC-People survey of 13- to 16-year- olds found that 12 percent had engaged in oral sex, and 4 percent of those – or less than half a percent overall – had been to an oral sex party. Source

A Kinsey Institute had these numbers on Sex

  • 27% of men and 19% of women have had oral sex in the past year
  • 23% of men and 11% of women have bought X-rated movies or videos

Are Your Kids Watching Porn?

In a survey of adolescent (10-17yrs) Internet users found 42% had been exposed to Internet pornography in the past year, with 66% of those exposures reported as unwanted. Only boys ages 16-17 reported more wanted exposures than unwanted exposures to Internet pornography. Source

More than 11 million teens regularly view porn online. The largest group viewing online pornography is ages 12 to 17. source

The Porn Industry is Filled with Consenting Adults

The porn industry is also filled with diseases. If we continue to “act” like they do, our society will mimic their numbers. These include:

Chlamydia and Gonorrhea among performers is 10x greater than that of LA County 20-24 year olds.
70% of sexually transmitted infections in the porn industry occur in females according to County of Los Angeles Public Health
26 cases of HIV reported by Adult Industry Medical Healthcare Foundation (AIM), since 2004.
66% of porn performers have Herpes, a non-curable disease.
2,396 cases of Chlamydia and 1,389 cases of Gonorrhea reported among performers since 2004.
Over 100 straight and gay performers died from AIDS.
36 porn stars died that we know of from HIV, suicide, homicide and drugs between 2007 and 2010. source

Why the Church NEEDS to Talk About Porn

Of 1351 pastors surveyed, 54% had viewed Internet pornography within the last year.
There are 4.2 million pornographic websites, 420 million pornographic web pages, and 68 million daily search engine requests.
50% of men and 20% of women in the church regularly view porn.
Worldwide pornography revenue in 2006 was $97.06 billion. Of that, approximately $13 billion was in the United States. source

When I was reading the book by Casting Crowns lead singer Mark Hall called, “Your Own Jesus: A God Insistent on Making It Personal he mentioned the idea of having an Accountability partner, and he mentioned Covenant Eyes.

Resources to Add Accountability to Your Web Viewing Habits

Covenant Eyes Internet Reporting SoftwareThe Church needs to recognize the epidemic of porn, and talk openly and honestly about it. Covenant eyes has a lots of great resources including free eBooks like

Porn and Your Husband: A Recovery Guide for Wives

A Parent’s Guide to Protecting Kids on YouTube

Your Brain on Porn

Parenting the Internet Generation: 7 Potential Threats and 7 Habits for Internet Integrity

Covenant Eyes offers accountability software as well as filtering software. Check them out at covenanteyes.com

Scriptures on overcoming Temptation

Dealing with Tempation

1 Corinthians 10:13 (New International Version)
13No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

James 1:12-16 (New International Version)
12Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

Psalm 119:9-11 (New International Version)
9How can a young man keep his way pure?
By living according to your word.

10I seek you with all my heart;
do not let me stray from your commands.

11I have hidden your word in my heart
that I might not sin against you.

Philippians 4:13 (New International Version)
13I can do everything through him who
gives me strength.

James 4:7-8 (New International Version)
7Submit yourselves, then, to God.
Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

Hebrews 2:17-18 (New International Version)
18Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.

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