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One of the things I struggle with is if someone does what I feel is “wrong,’ I REALLY want an apology before I even think about forgiving them. This is not biblical. As I was listening to the last hours of Christ’s life, the one thing he said was ,”Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots. (Luke 23:34). He didn’t ask for an apology. He didn’t get one. The people who had nailed him to a tree were playing games for his clothes. Wow. That hit me.
In Matthew 23:26 shows again how Jesus wants us to focus on our own hearts. “Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.” He points out again that if we focus on what we put in our hearts it will show results in our actions. So if we don’t get an apology that we may actually deserve then what?
In the book The Christian Atheist, the author points out how he struggled with forgiving a family friend who had molested his sister in the sixth grade. However, over time he was able to forgive this person. It wasn’t easy. But with Christ all things are possible. If we can’t get the apology we need, we need to ask God to take our burden. Praying for the other person may not always achieve the goal we want. It may not change them, but by honoring the bible with our actions that prayer will change US.
He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love, but he who repeats or harps on a matter separates even close friends. Proverbs 17: 9
By carrying bitterness, rage, and anger, in our heart we our taking up valuable space that could be replaced with love, compassion, and understanding.
Jesus didn’t need an apology to forgive people, and you don’t need one either. You have Jesus. If he did it, so can you.
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Interesting. I have struggled with the definition of forgiveness for a long time. Let me just give a different perspective, Jesus gave a reason for his asking the father their forgiveness, ignorance. Jesus asked God to forgive the people who crucified him because they didn’t know what they were doing. But God only forgives those who come to him and humbly repent. Apologize as it is. So perhaps we have two examples, Forgive those who ask for forgiveness (70×7 is a good example) and those who hurt or sin against you out of ignorance. Just a thought…