My brother was in an accident a few years ago. He was knocked out At first we thought he was fine, but over time things were not as they seem. It Turns out his brain has a hard time remembering some things, and he does fine on other things. I ask him how his old neighbor was, and he couldn't remember them. He can still play guitar. I made a joke when we were covered in some white powder putting his pool together, and I said, “I feel like I'm in Scarface.” To which my brother asked, “What's Scarface?” Now part of me was thinking, “WHAT?,” but as I said there are some things he doesn't remember. He had no memory of it. This seems hard to believe, but its true. It is just the way it is, for now. He is going to therapy, and he works at it every day. He will get there.
There are some versus in the bible.
For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more.”
Jeremiah 31:34 New International Version (NIV)
For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more
As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
But God You Don't Know What I Did!
So when we get to heaven and go, “WOW! I cant' believe how awesome this is!” and we feel like we don't deserve it. We might turn to God and say, “But God, I'm a ____” and God will go, “WHAT?” and have no recollection of it. It will be as if he has brain damage, and can't connect those two dots.
My cat vomits on the carpet at least once a month. Do I hate my cat? No. Do I hate cleaning up his vomit? Absolutely. God doesn't hate you, he hates sin. But in the same way it is just a natural part of my cat to vomit up hair balls, sin is part of us. I expect to have to clean up some cat puke every now and then. It comes with owning a cat. I don't think my cat does it to get back at me. My cat loves me, and purs when I pick it up. Yet the next day, there it is: a big pile of regurgitated fur. Lovely.
God knows we have sin in us. Some days we call upon the power of Jesus to overcome it. Some days, we are just so human and we don't. The bible calls us to acknowledge our sins and ask for forgiveness, and it will be forgiven. God is all about your heart.
Your Are Not Defined By Your Mistakes
There are so many labels:
We could go on. God used people in the bible who had committed murder. Who didn't speak well. God used drunks, whores, thieves, and more. He doesn't define you by your past actions. He defines you by your heart. Your heart will direct your actions. He knows, no matter how pure your heart is, you're going to sin. It happens.